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Frequently Asked Questions...
♥♥ Can you write an amusing romance/mystery that includes 6 of these 10 phrases?
1. Now just what did you mean by THAT?!
2. I need one of my little red pills.
3. This is a neurotic's jackpot.
4. Hmmmmm.... That deranged bagpiper keeps winking at me.
5. Did I ever tell you that your mother looks like Ernest Borgnine?
6. The murder weapon seems to have disappeared.
7. Either he's VERY shy or very..........dead.
8. Hey!! I know judo, dude.
9. I want my mommy.
10. Of course I can take him. Do you think I work out 4 times a week in order to look at old men in the locker room ?
I thought I would take her out for a change. She'd been hinting she felt neglected. I shoulda known better. My name is Jack Spade, and I gotta be the unluckiest private eye ever.
Sunny was my girl. For some reason she liked calling me Matt. I dunno why. Didn't care after I saw her in that low cut dress of hers. What the hey, she seemed to be havin' fun dancing. Until she came to me and whispered in my ear.
"Darlin, that man over there. 7. Either he's VERY shy or very...dead. And 4. Hmmmm...that deranged bagpiper keeps winking at me."
I sighed and must have mumbled out loud. "5. Did I ever tell you that your mother looks like Ernest Borgine?"
1."Now just what did you mean by THAT?!" she exclaimed annoyed.
"Uh..nothing babe," I replied quickly. "2. I need one of my little red pills. 3. This is a neurotic's jackpot, this place is. Oh don't pout sweetness, I'll take a look."
Sure enough, he was stiff..and he was A stiff.
"6. The murder weapon seems to have disappeared." I took a closer look and wasn't surprised to find a trickle of blood from both ears. I knew exactly what had killed this guy and I walked right up to the killer.
The bagpiper hadn't been winking. He had been wincing. He had hit that note only a master piper could hit, silent but deadly. He knew I had him cold.
8. "Hey!! I know judo, dude." He dropped the pipes and bent low.
"Oh Matt, can you take him?" Sunny squealed. If it wasn't for that dress, I dunno.
10."Of course I can take him. Do you think I work out 4 times a week in order to look at old men in the locker room?" I hoped my voice was as digusted as my face. But then, I had no intention of getting into a fist fight. That's why I always carried my piece. Gun beats judo every time, from a distance.
9. "I want my mommy," the kid cried.
"So do I kid, and I intend to have her right after the coppers lock you up." I snarled back.
So a bad night turned out alright. I got a reward for nabbing a mob hit man, and I got my own personal reward from Sunny later on. Wish I knew why she kept calling me Matt...
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